“Conclusion 1. Killjoy Survival Kit” is the opening conclusion chapter of Sarah Ahmed‘s book “Living a Feminist Life” (2017). In this chapter, Ahmed introduces the idea of feminist project as a killjoy survival kit, highlighting the intersection of survival, self-care, self-preservation and community-building. While the title may not immediately convey its content, it is essential to clarify the meaning of a killjoy survival kit in the context of feminist theories.

Ahmed humorously begins the chapter by defining a feminist as a killjoy, someone who disrupts others’ enjoyments. Consequently, being a feminist can sometimes feel like making life harder because it involves noticing and challenging certain aspects of the world. However, she argues that these uncomfortable experiences provide resources that help us navigate and survive.

Within this context, Ahmed explores the concept of survival, which I believe it is a fundamental idea for understanding her feminist project. Drawing on the work of Alexis Pauline Gumbs, she advocates for a robust and transformative redefinition of survival. Survival, in this context, goes beyond mere existence and entails staying committed to our beliefs and values. Thus, survival can become a shared feminist project rooted in interdependence, the preservation of hope, and engagement in feminist action.

As an essential element of the killjoy survival kit, Amed emphasizes the importance of a toolkit within this survival project. The killjoy survival kit serves as a repository for items necessary for individual survival. Each person’s toolkit is unique, containing personal items accumulated over time. By examining the toolkits of others, we can access and learn from their feminist stories. In my opinion, it highlights the communal aspect of the killjoy survival kit.

Within this framework, Ahmed defines the feminist survival kit as a form of feminist self-care. This concept draws my attention because it not only encompasses the history of feminism but also intersects with other remarkable feminist texts within feminist discourses. By citing Audre Lorde and Judith Butler, she argues that self-care is not self-indulgence but a means of self-preservation, particularly for those historically marginalized or facing challenging circumstances. It involves finding ways to exist in a world that makes existence difficult.

Furthermore, Ahmed expands the concept of self-care to include the creation of a community. Self-care becomes a process of forging fragile communities that emerge from shattered experiences. It involves ordinary acts of looking out for one another and supporting each other. In my opinion, this approach is crucial because a feminist project focused on self-preservation could be misunderstood as a solitary endeavor. By emphasizing its shared nature, however, Ahmed highlights that it is, in fact, a communal project.

As explored above, Ahmed presents a feminist project through her brilliant and creative concept of a “killjoy survival kit.” What resonates with me the most in her argument is the notion that survival becomes a feminist project, resulting in the formation of fragile communities through self-preservation. As a minority in the European context, my everyday life often feels like a survival journey, with my energy consistently dedicated to self-preservation. However, I had not previously considered it a feminist project; instead, I sometimes viewed it as a self-indulgence. But reading this chapter has allowed me to affirm that my everyday life is a form of self-preservation, contributing to a larger feminist project. Moreover, I now recognize that I have the power to build fragile communities by caring for and sharing my survival kit with other killjoys around me. By embracing and affirming this perspective, I can confidently assert that I am living a feminist life.

In addition, Ahmed proposes ten feminist assignments or “killjoy items” as part of a feminist survival strategy. Two of these items deserve my particular attention: Tool and Body.

The tool is presented as a means to feminist ends. Ahmed highlights the importance of each person having a different tool to achieve their feminist goals since using the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. A sharp tool is necessary. Personally, as an architectural student with a background in philosophy and as a minority in Europe, my chosen tool is a book and a pen. Through writing, I can express and share my ideas clearly and freely.

The inclusion of the body in the survival kit resonates with me personally. Ahmed includes the body not only as a mediating entity but also as bodies that matter, drawing on Judith Butler’s ideas. As a Deleuzian and an architectural student, I find the inclusion of the body important. The body is not only a physical medium that relates to space but also a “loci” where we can affect and be affected, allowing us to become others in Deleuze’s metaphysics.

“Conclusion 1. Killjoy Survival Kit” not only serves as a roadmap for our feminist journey but also functions as a manifesto for committed feminist living. Upon reflection, I find myself questioning: how can I live a feminist life sustainably in terms of her strategy?